Judging and Judgmental
It starts the moment I get out of bed, walk into the bathroom, and look in the mirror. My hair really needs a cut. Oh, another wrinkle on my face. We all do it—the judgment and self-critique. It’s natural for human beings to be continually judging, critiquing, and evaluating ourselves and others. I would suggest that we spend most of our day doing so.
I wonder why that is. Perhaps it is a survival skill, allowing us to be alert to possible danger or catastrophe. We need to be able to judge quickly what will help us and what might harm us.
Or it may have to do with the way we form connections with others. We begin with connecting through the senses—sharing a nod and a smile, recognizing another’s personal scent or the sound of their voice and offering a gentle, respectful touch. Then we quickly move on to discovering what we have in common, sameness creating a connection and a sense of belonging. Perhaps this is why we are so quick to notice, judge, and critique.
Jesus understood human nature and the way we are quick to judge. That’s why he instructed, “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged.... Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? (Matthew 7:1–3).
However, I disagree with what Jesus says about noticing the “speck in your neighbor’s eye” but not noticing “the log in your own eye.” I think the truth is that we do notice (whether consciously or not) the ways we feel deficient. From the time we are young, we internalize the cultural and societal norms that tell us how we should look, speak, and act, and with that first look in the mirror each morning, we begin monitoring how we are fitting in, even if we don’t agree with those norms.
If I understand that I am overweight, then I am more likely to notice and judge anyone else who might seem overweight. The judgments I make of myself quickly spill over to judgments of others. Some people hide this self-critique underneath a self-confident and self-assured facade, but I believe that each of us feels vulnerable and exposed to the judgments of society.
We human beings are always judging, critiquing, and evaluating. That is good when it leads us to yearn for, create, and imagine better ways for the care of the earth and its people. We do need to offer critique concerning the ways humans are causing destruction to the climate and environment. We do need to declare judgment on the ways institutions, such as the church, tolerate racist practices.
Jesus said, “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.” As Christians, we have lost precious opportunities to experience the compassion of God because we have been caught up in judging others for their way of dressing or speaking, gender expression, sexual orientation, skin colour, or (dis)abilities. We have distorted the Good News of Jesus by declaring that those of a particular gender expression and sexual orientation should have more authority and privilege than those of any other gender expression or sexual orientation.
A sign hangs in my bathroom that is actually the first thing I see each morning. It is an artistic rendering of Psalm 139:14: “I praise you, [O God], for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.” Each morning, as I see these words and let them echo in my heart and mind, I pray that they will help me look at myself in the mirror, not with judgment but with delight, and then, for the rest of the day, bring that delight rather than my judgment, biases, and critique to each person I meet. Yes, as human beings we have a natural inclination for judgment. Yet, we also have the ability to remember that each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image—that we should know very well.
Susan Lukey, Editor
